I am epic ownage and will lulz at everything.
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20006) - you totally deserved it (165831)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you totally deserved it (75226)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5896) - you totally deserved it (115109)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63964) - you totally deserved it (9948)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)
Today, my over-protective mom decided to do a blacklight test on my room to make sure I wasn't doing the naughty in my bed. The bed was clean. My face wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you totally deserved it (70600)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:11am - intimacy - by crzyl8buddhist (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14865) - you totally deserved it (73356)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you totally deserved it (53143)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)
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