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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5154
  • Number of comments : 712
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About instnt1nfction : Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.

instnt1nfction's page activity

Visits<b>Bowery</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 4:33pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:34pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:16pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:50am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 10:14pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:48am<b>bolee997</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 11:32pm<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:47pm<b>28actress</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 8:51am<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:52pm<b>Bquillero16</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 12:28am<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:37am<b>Farklez</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:08pm<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:26pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 6:27pm<b>catchmypanties</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 9:27pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:36pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:48pm<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:52am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:30am<b>crackfetus420</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:30pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Zach____smith</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:20pm

instnt1nfction's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of instnt1nfction's badges

instnt1nfction's favorite FMLs

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

by kp / 10/16/2011 at 8:47pm / Australia / Health

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

by maniac11 / 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous