instnt1nfction

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instnt1nfction

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5270
  • Number of comments : 712
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About instnt1nfction : Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.

instnt1nfction's page activity

Visits<b>Bowery</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 4:33pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:34pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:16pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:50am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 10:14pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:48am<b>bolee997</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 11:32pm<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:47pm<b>28actress</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 8:51am<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:52pm<b>Bquillero16</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 12:28am<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:37am<b>Farklez</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:08pm<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:26pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 6:27pm<b>catchmypanties</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 9:27pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:36pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:48pm<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:52am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:30am<b>crackfetus420</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:30pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Zach____smith</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:20pm

instnt1nfction's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of instnt1nfction's badges

instnt1nfction's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2011 at 8:25pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

by JWhite / 11/24/2011 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids