About instnt1nfction : Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.
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instnt1nfction's favorite FMLs
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by lil123 / 03/25/2012 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Sean / 03/03/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals
- Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack… Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told… Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…