Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

instnt1nfction

Search for a member

instnt1nfction

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4125
  • Number of comments : 712
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About instnt1nfction : Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.

instnt1nfction's page activity

Visits<b>Zach____smith</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:20am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:57am<b>rydin10</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 3:47pm<b>mmorre</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 4:36pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:46pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:39pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:12pm<b>lolalove24</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:01am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:58pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:02am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 7:21pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:29pm<b>spicymeatball7</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:10pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:13am<b>Bllubby</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:44pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:28pm<b>3051628</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:33am

Fucked!<b>Zach____smith</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:20pm

instnt1nfction's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of instnt1nfction's badges

instnt1nfction's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (2941)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (2925)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (2146)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (3222)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

#19342330
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (2310)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:40am - love - by lil123 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (2981)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (3969)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

#19207199
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (4373)

On 03/03/2012 at 2:33am - money - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

#19188547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (29418)

On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (6590)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (6106)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (3716)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (1963)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7937) - you deserved it (25552)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: