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instnt1nfction

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instnt1nfction
  • Town/Country : an igloo, Somewhere in Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3146
  • Number of comments : 712
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About instnt1nfction : Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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instnt1nfction's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2683)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (2538)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (1386)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

#19342330
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (2210)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:40am - love - by lil123 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

#19207199
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (708) - you deserved it (1635)

On 03/03/2012 at 2:33am - money - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

#19188547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (26154)

On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19107) - you deserved it (6133)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (5662)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (22231)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom



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