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insomnie

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insomnie

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insomnie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (8290)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (4255)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43248) - you deserved it (3371)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (6240)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15956) - you deserved it (35852)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (6375)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (50952)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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