insomniacdude

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insomniacdude

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 December 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6342
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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insomniacdude's page activity

Visits<b>year2015</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:39pm<b>jubejube239</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:21pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:04am<b>Cookie_box</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 4:35am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:15am<b>shmuh</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 9:16am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 8:42pm<b>Vicklovespuppies</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 6:10pm<b>prplr</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 2:11pm<b>poopsicle22</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 8:17pm<b>vampirate</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 3:25am<b>all_the_same</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 2:55pm<b>barlessprison</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 11:06pm<b>bhamilton93</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 8:58pm<b>jackie653</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 10:20pm<b>tiggie02</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 8:59pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 3:58pm

insomniacdude's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

insomniacdude's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

by cartrouble / 10/02/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

by rainedaddy / 09/29/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

by NotFunny / 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

by Tally / 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML

by bonedregardless / 09/15/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

by Waheyyy / 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

by wtfman101 / 08/28/2009 at 10:56am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

by nsJ / 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

by ArmyMan / 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Work

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous