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ingernh

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ingernh
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ingernh : Yes, I'm a princess

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ingernh's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

#20682053
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (3557)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18591) - you deserved it (1708)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

#19494854
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7232) - you deserved it (18297)

On 04/19/2012 at 8:37am - health - by Burp (woman) - United States

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (2034)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

#19484025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (1552)

On 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by Merlin - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6950) - you deserved it (30722)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (1763)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (3118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)



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