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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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infiniti_G

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infiniti_G
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 556
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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infiniti_G's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (12221) - you deserved it (1210)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (2668)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

#8079585 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (25757) - you deserved it (3872)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:29am - love - by LoveStruck- - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (3377)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

#7972582 (433)

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (12211)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm - money - by Vastu (man) - Nepal

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (3781)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

#7927518 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (9598) - you deserved it (1445)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

#7591761 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (37773) - you deserved it (11333)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (18565) - you deserved it (4591)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States