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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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indycolts1786

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indycolts1786
  • Town/Country : Centerville, Ohio, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 September 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1143
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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indycolts1786's favorite FMLs

Today, my cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access my account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember my password. The phone company had an option of "forgot my password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to your phone". FML

#765962 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (50411) - you deserved it (4097)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by nhanley1 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

#764209 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (7814) - you deserved it (84680)

On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167990) - you deserved it (51073)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you deserved it (105126)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

#740938 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (52918) - you deserved it (7064)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (16025) - you deserved it (52524)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (100986) - you deserved it (9676)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was invited to a pink panty party at my neighbor's apt. I went out and bought the cutest pair of pink panties and went over to the party in only them and a matching bra. When I opened the door everyone was wearing jeans. Apparently a pink panty is a mixed drink. FML

#595808 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (58333)

On 03/25/2009 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

#592595 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (79058) - you deserved it (18739)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (54347) - you deserved it (11332)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (78272) - you deserved it (22339)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

#553334 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (59932) - you deserved it (5785)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (92182)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (107208) - you deserved it (5755)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. While they were gone I threw a party, but when asked I told them no, to which my dad responded " Well I'm currently looking at pictures on facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (10905) - you deserved it (84223)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)