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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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inbloom

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inbloom
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 319
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

inbloom's favorite FMLs

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (35449) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (5902) - you deserved it (25602)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (7973) - you deserved it (1710)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

#6821061 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (14020) - you deserved it (8763)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (8857) - you deserved it (25630)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (88399) - you deserved it (5295)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (7573) - you deserved it (51459)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847 (371)

I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (82106)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some random new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (10063) - you deserved it (28183)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)