![[fr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About imtoosexyformy : =] Hello, my name is Rachel I am very athletic and love fmylife.com
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (53772)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75833) - you deserved it (6402)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12699) - you deserved it (155303)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59403) - you deserved it (10716)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8261) - you deserved it (57603)
On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the women's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (3041)
On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53573) - you deserved it (2343)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was taking a shower after a run. We were under a tornado watch, and I halfway through the lights dimmed and I heard the tell-tale "train" sound. Panicked, I bolted wet and naked for the basement, crashing into my mom as I flew out the door. The sound was just her new vacuuming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36420) - you deserved it (9591)
On 04/21/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85457) - you deserved it (4360)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44938) - you deserved it (9221)
On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42522) - you deserved it (3529)
On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20368) - you deserved it (189275)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9296) - you deserved it (53832)
On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (80921) - you deserved it (16586)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (56799)
On 04/13/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by LonelyFrog (man) - United States (California)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
