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imscrewwd

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imscrewwd
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 681
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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imscrewwd's favorite FMLs

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (6554)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a 24-hour taco shop, while he was wearing a tee-shirt that says "F*** Me I'm Famous." FML

#6083717
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (8213)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML

#6083113
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (5072)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by Okay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (4302)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (7981)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

#5865685
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (6623)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (1903)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

#5669917
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35499) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

#5664241
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (5423)

On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60702) - you deserved it (4413)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59597) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36933) - you deserved it (3830)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43936) - you deserved it (5686)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45894) - you deserved it (6232)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)



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