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100 kick ass comments
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Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (3153)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (3232)
On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (3797)
On 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11438) - you deserved it (25956)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45741) - you deserved it (7547)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I had to take Viagra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (4499)
On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15499) - you deserved it (3357)
On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10356) - you deserved it (16494)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13480) - you deserved it (1383)
On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17658) - you deserved it (1779)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (6611)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (2635)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (24143)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (3236)
On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18104) - you deserved it (7467)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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