About imagineit : Hello! :) Just on here for laughs and reading anecdotes that make my day feel like a joy.
A quote:
"Stay humble and never doubt yourself." -Me
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17024) - you deserved it (45916)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37389) - you deserved it (3200)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (7972)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (4024)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42973) - you deserved it (11039)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (4594)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (7023)
On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (1973)
On 12/16/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by emchocolat (woman) - Europe
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (1487)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7037) - you deserved it (16894)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (18156)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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