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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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imadonkeymoooo

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imadonkeymoooo
  • Town/Country : orlando, United states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 February 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 226
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About imadonkeymoooo : im 17

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imadonkeymoooo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (6140)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

#5146144 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (7545) - you deserved it (32653)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:21am - animals - by GoodDog (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (57000) - you deserved it (1911)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (10650) - you deserved it (29775)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that i had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (46484)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (2054)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I got shoved into a wall and pickpocketed. I was already in a bad mood from being dumped, so I chased the guy, tackled him so hard he was knocked out. As I retrieved my things, the police arrested me and apparently the robber was the cop's son, and didn't believe my statement. FML

#5038784 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (48437) - you deserved it (1693)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:14am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (40484) - you deserved it (2207)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (10054) - you deserved it (29919)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

#5025816 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (6665) - you deserved it (39036)

On 09/03/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by iTerrify (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (47869)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

#5012990 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (5600)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States

Today, I got a new bike for college. Excited, I decided to go on a bike ride. A couple blocks away, I got hit by a car. The truck pulled over and a man got out and put my bike in his truck and drove off. I had to crawl/limp back home. FML

#5012719 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (1808)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by collegebike (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

#5011183 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (9143)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (11349) - you deserved it (26960)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)