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I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (6191)
On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (5939)
On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38720) - you deserved it (10383)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6362) - you deserved it (35825)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (6933)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12318) - you deserved it (46741)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6832) - you deserved it (64009)
On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (12138)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11578) - you deserved it (41202)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, and even at this very moment, my ex, who I'm still in love with, is having sex with her new boyfriend. He's my neighbor and she's making a lot more noise with him than she did with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (4983) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/05/2011 at 1:29am - intimacy - by homerde - Sent from mobile version
Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (37173)
On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58681) - you deserved it (4909)
On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59838) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14694) - you deserved it (43377)
On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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