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im_da_man

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im_da_man

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  • Number of visits : 1441
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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im_da_man's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/19/2009 at 11:13am

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im_da_man's favorite FMLs

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you deserved it (6492)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

#15577647
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33155) - you deserved it (4642)

On 03/31/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

#15576285
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (24707)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (21867)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

#15571420
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (10076)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69008) - you deserved it (9539)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (69059)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (69059)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (69059)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (88484)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (7689)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46779) - you deserved it (4266)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (26978)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (6702)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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