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Today, my sister thought it would be hilarious to tell our strict Catholic parents I was sleeping around and had gotten pregnant. They believed her, and dragged me down to the clinic for tests. I proved I wasn't pregnant. However, the doctor said it was more than likely that I have an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (16507)
On 04/01/2011 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Yolanda19 - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (5026)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3722)
On 03/31/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13563) - you deserved it (20982)
On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15565) - you deserved it (16423)
On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18705) - you deserved it (8128)
On 03/31/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60886) - you deserved it (7586)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53546)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53546)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53546)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (69684)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (6354)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40732) - you deserved it (3360)
On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (7796)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (20739)
On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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