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im_da_man

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im_da_man

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  • Number of visits : 1432
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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im_da_man's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/19/2009 at 11:13am

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im_da_man's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (15670)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14529) - you deserved it (45665)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (7984)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (3469)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (5975)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (10772)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46804) - you deserved it (7243)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36039) - you deserved it (10934)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (2746)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

#17889582
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (4450)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (5627)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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