Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About iluvhobos : Grammar Nazi and fucking proud of it. (:
Go ahead, thumb-down my comment, you wouldn't be the first.
My username is just something random a friend of mine (at the time) came up with when we were about 10, and I've used it for everything ever since.
Also, I am one of the biggest Harry Potter nerds, which I am proud of as well. (:
PS: Straight Pride! (:
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
Friday 27 February 2015