iluvcucumbers

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iluvcucumbers

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2963
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About iluvcucumbers : I'm a betch who's in love with the world

iluvcucumbers's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:48am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:06pm<b>AwkwardStalker</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 9:39pm<b>Blue_Coconuts</b> - the 01/08/2012 at 11:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:08pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:41pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 2:29am<b>Geiko</b> - the 08/13/2010 at 11:08am<b>A83</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 8:49pm<b>Andryah</b> - the 07/25/2010 at 10:17pm<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 07/23/2010 at 2:15pm<b>Youwantwhatnow</b> - the 07/20/2010 at 7:46pm<b>alaskankid907</b> - the 07/20/2010 at 2:26am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 10:34pm<b>qtips402</b> - the 07/14/2010 at 10:56pm<b>tommyd23</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 7:26am<b>meneedlove</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 5:12am

Fucked!<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:06pm

iluvcucumbers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iluvcucumbers's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

by charlie043 / 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

by counselor / 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

by carless / 08/14/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

by WhiteLiar / 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

by Nominome / 02/06/2010 at 7:31pm / Miscellaneous

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

by wtfrelationship / 10/21/2009 at 12:07am / Singapore / Love