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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (1549)
On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -
Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (6131)
On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (2331)
On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17992) - you deserved it (6140)
On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22450) - you deserved it (6943)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (2577)
On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78478) - you deserved it (18450)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (5742)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343686) - you deserved it (40828)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (551271) - you deserved it (35404)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (327394) - you deserved it (45356)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77188) - you deserved it (7551)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408866) - you deserved it (26496)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Friday 24 May 2013
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