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ilulife

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ilulife

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  • Number of visits : 526
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ilulife's page activity

Visits<b>becka123764</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:04am

ilulife's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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ilulife's favorite FMLs

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65239) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (2308)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (5843)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (39194)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43793) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

#18343392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (3986)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Jessie - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15082) - you deserved it (52621)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

#18108138
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (7513)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11169) - you deserved it (39740)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12439) - you deserved it (41627)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35396) - you deserved it (5490)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

#16838665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (3791)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

#14488481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -



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