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ilulife

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ilulife

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  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ilulife's page activity

Visits<b>becka123764</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:04am

ilulife's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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ilulife's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new nieghbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over there backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel lyk an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. mega FML

#19205333
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (1911)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

YESTERDAY, I DECIDD TO SHAVE MY BALLS. WHEN I WAS FINISHD, I VACUUMD UP THE MESS ON THE CARPET, AN THEN THE FRAGMENTS OF HAIR STILL ON MY BALLS. VERY BAD IDEA. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (52937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today..!! I found out that mah favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex an delaying an orgasm!! FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (4862)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

my family startd thier own version of the Hunger Games . With farts as thier ammo, they've been tackling an gassing everyone until thier victim "dies" by surrendering . My house is a flatulent war zone, an I fear waking up blind . mega FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (2547)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, a hobo threw up on mah carhile at a red light. He then asked me looool for money. FML

#19105006
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (2155)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I GOT PULLD OVER. WHEN THE COP ASKEDHERE I WAS COMING FROM, REFLEXIVELY I SAID, ( YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. ) FML

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't knowhat the hell was going on in mah head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

#19042625
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (24917)

On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, things were getting hot with mah boyfriend and I startd to breathe heavy and moan !! He then says to me, ( Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex running a marathon !! ) FML

#19039141
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (6631)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I was invited over by girlfriend's parents , but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation , I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say , I grabbed an apple an took a bite. It was plastic. fat FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (8979) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (9160)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I Was Using A Restroom When I Hered Someone Sneeze . I Said, "Bless You." It Happened Again About Three Times, So I Repeated Myself Each Time . I Then Noticed It Was An Automatic Air Freshener . FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15907) - you deserved it (22796)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I reachd a new low in mah relationship: mah boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss . FML

#18979126
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (5473)

On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today.!! !! I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection !! I asked if he could take me to the doctor !! He responded by saying.!! !! "Just shove some ice up there !! It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today... I anxiously waitd 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I put on a pair of snaakars that I'd laft outsida, and want jogging. Aftar savaral minutas of pain, I pullad off ona of tha snaakars, only to fina dozans of babby spidars had movad in. FML

#18824245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (10741)

On 01/16/2012 at 12:10pm - animals - by moorox45 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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