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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (4651)
On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (1573)
On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (14948)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5429) - you deserved it (12044)
On 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm - work - by Maxx (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (4652)
On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (1509)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (1724)
On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realised the only guy who is showing any slight interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick up lines such as "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (1755)
On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland
Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (1841)
On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (1815)
On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (2270)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (1462)
On 01/26/2010 at 4:25pm - misc - by computergeek (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (6538)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (2492)
On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6174) - you deserved it (13495)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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