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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10013) - you deserved it (28476)
On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5240) - you deserved it (24278)
On 08/19/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (3593)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)
Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (3719)
On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (5610)
On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (2220)
On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (2703)
On 07/05/2010 at 7:22pm - kids - by toriforever - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (3255)
On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (3255)
On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)
Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (3303)
On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19262) - you deserved it (5070)
On 05/25/2010 at 3:08pm - misc - by AdamFoundHisEve - Sent from mobile version
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (2301)
On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (6682)
On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14928) - you deserved it (1863)
On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States
Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35718) - you deserved it (1589)
On 03/09/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by dargas - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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