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ilovefall10's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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ilovefall10's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by stolen-car / 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by Schaf_12 / 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm / Austria (Wien) / Love
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
by inapickle / 05/16/2012 at 4:20am / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
by aligator1009 / 05/09/2012 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
by 0stvn0 / 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 4:03am / United States / Health
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
by wtf did I do / 03/02/2012 at 4:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.… Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him…