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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (4120)
On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (2726)
On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (2022)
On 02/05/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by MissCommunication (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (2988)
On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)
Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/02/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by alephnull (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3857)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (3767)
On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (2976)
On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (10927)
On 01/26/2011 at 8:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (2394)
On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandpa came over to help paint our house, as we are renovating it. The only paint clothes he decided to wear were his underpants. The neighbours and builders found this quite amusing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15615) - you deserved it (2070)
On 01/25/2011 at 4:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (5613)
On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus or blowing blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (1951)
On 01/18/2011 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (27438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (356)
On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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