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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (13111)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10872) - you deserved it (19046)
On 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm - work - by helen -
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (2251)
On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (2277)
On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)
Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (2863)
On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (4361)
On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -
Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (2841)
On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2459)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (8897)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26970) - you deserved it (7539)
On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (7585)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (12353)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (7250)
On 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm - misc - by lonelynessinCA (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (7441)
On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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