This member hasn't filled in the description.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60004) - you deserved it (3336)
On 04/06/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by BrilsmurfO_O (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59812) - you deserved it (7402)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States
Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54524) - you deserved it (17847)
On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13643) - you deserved it (145309)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47874) - you deserved it (9473)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51796) - you deserved it (2855)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81011) - you deserved it (8517)
On 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by groomfail (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51021) - you deserved it (5971)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8822) - you deserved it (37248)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64618) - you deserved it (3036)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56810) - you deserved it (7214)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)
Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (3817)
On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6387) - you deserved it (24314)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (12454)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4933) - you deserved it (21374)
On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
