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ilovefall10's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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ilovefall10's favorite FMLs
by wowhoopla / 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
by coinoperatedgirl / 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
by Fran / 01/09/2010 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I've recently developed a bladder control issue. Every time I lift anything more than about fifteen pounds, I pee myself a little. I work in a warehouse. Heavy lifting is my job. FML
by mcpeepants / 01/08/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML
by Arsinoe / 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2010 at 2:11am / United States / Holidays
Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
by hatelife / 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Love
by planes / 12/30/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML
by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
by yoyo22 / 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML
by someonesomething / 12/05/2009 at 6:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML
by friendless / 12/03/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…