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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (3655)
On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15347) - you deserved it (2628)
On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (1304)
On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (6309)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (3977)
On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (4686)
On 10/06/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ticket - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (3786)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (3786)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (6566)
On 09/23/2009 at 7:10am - love - by Riskreh (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (3181)
On 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61203) - you deserved it (3344)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (36842)
On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (43497)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I had a long, meaningful telephone conversation. After hanging up, I realized I hadn't had such a great conversation in a long time. Who was it with? The Dell Customer Support guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (3880)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:27pm - misc - by asdfjkl (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (6088)
On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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