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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (2223)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (2223)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (7459)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (2136)
On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (1773)
On 01/01/2010 at 2:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (3270)
On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/30/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by planes - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (4511)
On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (8321)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29456) - you deserved it (1605)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17507) - you deserved it (6465)
On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States
Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (8352)
On 12/05/2009 at 6:24am - misc - by someonesomething - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (2445)
On 12/03/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by friendless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (2923)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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