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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (11150)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (1520)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (8372)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2262)
Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (6092)
On 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm - misc - by Why_Not31 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (1836)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (1872)
On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (3337)
On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (4038)
On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)
Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12538) - you deserved it (22880)
On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17297) - you deserved it (1598)
Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (4775)
On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (1906)
On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (1591)
On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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