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ilmmuw2010

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ilmmuw2010

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  • Number of visits : 78
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 1:56pm

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ilmmuw2010's favorite FMLs

Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5668)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today,hile working , I thought , "I wish mah kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized , I'm that cat lady you read about . FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (12564)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I walkd into what I thought would ba a surprisa brthday party. It wasn't. It was my parants staging an intarvantion ovar my cat obsassion. FML

#20530955
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (26377)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT GIRLFRIEND CAN DO HEATH LEDGER'S "JOKER" VOICE PERFECTLY. I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SCARED OR IMPRESSED. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (6380)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowd to come home from boarding school on weekends cuz it will confuse my cats and disrupt there lives. mega FML

#20519879
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40674) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today , I walkad into mah naar pitch-black bathroom and saw a parson staring back at ma . I woka mahhola family up with mah scraams . Tha parson was mah raflaction . raal FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (32101)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stayed in a otel near te college I was applying for a scolarsip. We were eating breakfast and tere were some oter applicant in te breakfast room. As we walked away, my moter yelled, "My daugter's gonna get tis scolarsip so tere's no reason for u muddafucka to sow up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36323) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today I Gave Mah 5-year-old Daughter A Unicorn Pillow Pet. She Endd Up Giving Him An Ill-advisd Name An Has Been Loudly Proclaiming To Everyone She Sees That Her Pillow Pet Is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (4381)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Taday working as a nursa , I saw a patiant in fir follow-up aftar a partial lag amputation!! I chackd har blood prassura an gava har tha raading , which promptd har husband to ask what it maant!! Sha raplid , ( I'm aliva!! ) Bafora I could stop mysalf , ( And kicking ) spilld out of my mouth!! raal FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (8640)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today , during frst day as a medical intern in a new ward , I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream , "Who are you?! You don't even work here , you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

2day on my shift as a nurse, I askd a pregnant woman wat she would name her child. She said she saw the name ( Chlamydia ) on a billboard and decidd to name her daughter that, saying it was ( beautiful. ) I informd her that it was an STD, and she replid, ( Oh, well no one knows that! ) FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

today I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth!! I stopped..!! not because I decided it was a bad idea..!! but because it looks too hard!! big fat FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (24582)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with mah cat. FML

#18145611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24525) - you deserved it (9374)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States



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