Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

illegalbeagle69

Offline (the 06/14/2015 at 4:14pm) | Search for a member

illegalbeagle69

2Fucked!

illegalbeagle69illegalbeagle69
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 November 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1707
  • Number of comments : 355
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About illegalbeagle69 : Let's see..

illegalbeagle69's page activity

Visits<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:58pm<b>BrunetteJoke</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:54pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:04am<b>isum21</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:01pm<b>ArturoJames</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:55pm<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:25pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:05pm<b>atl904</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:32pm<b>lulumars</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:01am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:41am<b>chloe1737</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:16am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:11pm<b>ham_spam</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:12am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Vexatious</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:55am<b>poppunkette</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 5:49pm<b>skyeyez9</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:39am<b>sam882</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:17pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:06pm<b>cassandra11</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:32am

illegalbeagle69's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of illegalbeagle69's badges

illegalbeagle69's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (2983)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML

#21423846
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (1847)

On 06/10/2015 at 9:26am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

#21421289
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (2467)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (2640)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46364) - you deserved it (6281)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (5028)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49137) - you deserved it (17752)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44835) - you deserved it (4080)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51707) - you deserved it (6494)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48404) - you deserved it (17045)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64259) - you deserved it (4996)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (5392)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43919) - you deserved it (23971)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46697) - you deserved it (5569)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: