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illegalbeagle69

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illegalbeagle69
  • Town/Country : Michigan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 November 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 232
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About illegalbeagle69 : Let's see.. a little bit about me. I like to paint ball (I have a scar, a perfect circle, on my left butt cheek from a bet, a joke about somebody's mom, a paintball gun, and gym shorts at 2 in the morning at a cabin in the middle of the woods.) I play soccer for a team, basketball and football for fun. Aside from sports, I play xbox, watch movies, and just hang out. I like winter for snowboarding and snowmobiling but summer is my season. swimming, fishing, going to the beach, bonfires.

I will not disrespect myself by sending topless pics.. haha. I see that on a lot of profiles and was just curious as to who would use this cite to get nude pictures of women. Lame.

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illegalbeagle69's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of illegalbeagle69's badges

illegalbeagle69's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (21323)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (4100)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36545) - you deserved it (4836)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed hysterically. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20039) - you deserved it (33785)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (2837)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (41938)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56743) - you deserved it (4937)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (8297)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57000) - you deserved it (20423)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52774) - you deserved it (5802)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49305) - you deserved it (10475)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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