About illegalbeagle69 : Let's see..
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
illegalbeagle69's favorite FMLs
by lolatmylovelife / 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 9:26am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by yupthissucks / 04/13/2015 at 5:00am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 11:22am / China (Shanghai) / Intimacy
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Sun_Kissed18 / 07/09/2014 at 3:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML
by AJL / 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by anon / 06/20/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…