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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ilikerainbows

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ilikerainbows
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28666
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ilikerainbows's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (4432)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (65884) - you deserved it (4531)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40697) - you deserved it (114314)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228682) - you deserved it (19500)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (102370) - you deserved it (6987)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (58511) - you deserved it (1942)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (70621) - you deserved it (19657)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (16977) - you deserved it (93361)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (12986) - you deserved it (4335)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

#226 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (3914)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:38am - love - by Rolax - Sent from mobile version