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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1024
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

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ilikepie789's page activity

Visits<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 3:29am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 4:21am<b>elfyna_g</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:48pm<b>laxbrosive</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:55pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:46pm<b>KAT0INFINITY</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 7:37pm<b>indyjuggalo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:11am<b>MadisonDerp</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 1:46am<b>MaryJo96</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 1:04pm<b>Padreschargers7</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/28/2011 at 8:27pm<b>GravyGuy</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 2:45am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:13am<b>smileyhatred</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 3:59pm<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 05/29/2010 at 2:35pm<b>lulz1337</b> - the 04/05/2010 at 12:18am<b>nolimits</b> - the 03/01/2010 at 7:24pm<b>samantha_durano</b> - the 02/21/2010 at 11:16pm

ilikepie789's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ilikepie789's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

by 123roomielover / 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

by picturemenakedbaby / 07/21/2009 at 6:42am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous