ijrnelson

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ijrnelson

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20050
  • Number of comments : 323
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ijrnelson's page activity

Visits<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 7:56am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:40am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:11pm<b>heyheyheyyall</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:43am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 9:58pm<b>nick_mcc</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 11:57am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:08pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:14pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:28am<b>entermyusername</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:04pm<b>creativelexi</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:05am<b>luckyme94dn</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:37am<b>nfern046</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:06am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:21pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:04am

ijrnelson's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ijrnelson's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

by crybaby / 02/01/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

by fmlifetime / 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

by clementine_k / 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

by uncomfortable / 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy