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ijayp

Offline (the 01/02/2014 at 3:47am) | Search for a member

ijayp

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ijayp : A smart man learns from his own mistakes, but a smarter man learns from others mistakes. That's what I like about FML.

ijayp's page activity

Visits<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:20pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:43am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:23am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:22am<b>turtle_turtle_4</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Maddeee</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:56pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:51am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 4:28pm<b>trell000</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:52am<b>stevenN659</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:40am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:27am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 5:39pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:36pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm<b>butterlove93</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 2:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Welgemoed</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:01pm

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ijayp's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

#21219077
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39026) - you deserved it (7347)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (6425)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (4847)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - love - by mymumdidntloveme - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51754) - you deserved it (16776)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (11806)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54419) - you deserved it (8975)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42275) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54991) - you deserved it (7011)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (16175)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (8374)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42457) - you deserved it (7018)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58004) - you deserved it (6210)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML



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