iiazndorkii

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iiazndorkii

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2968
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About iiazndorkii : Hi. Um. I'm a girl. If you hadn't noticed. I'm a sarcasm-holic, and it's an addict I'm extremely proud of. Fact of the matter is, if you can't handle sarcasm, get out of my way. If that sounded harsh, please go away. If it seemed slightly funny, we could have a nice conversation.

iiazndorkii's page activity

Visits<b>randy37</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 2:42am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:35am<b>xDochx</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 5:12pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:09am<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:15pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 01/06/2011 at 12:22pm<b>Ninjafriends</b> - the 01/06/2011 at 11:26am<b>wert</b> - the 08/20/2010 at 12:19pm<b>sixtrey</b> - the 08/19/2010 at 6:29am<b>Dopeyrox</b> - the 05/21/2010 at 2:59pm<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 05/13/2010 at 7:44am<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 05/10/2010 at 6:48am<b>cincifan101</b> - the 05/09/2010 at 1:10pm<b>AlessaVen</b> - the 05/09/2010 at 12:07am<b>brooke_chook</b> - the 05/08/2010 at 7:45am<b>mykola</b> - the 05/08/2010 at 7:36am<b>Loosechange</b> - the 05/08/2010 at 2:55am

Fucked!<b>randy37</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:42am

iiazndorkii's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of iiazndorkii's badges

iiazndorkii's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

by hamsterlovinn / 06/06/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

by anon / 04/21/2009 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham) / Miscellaneous

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

by vela9002 / 04/06/2009 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

by TANT / 03/22/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said ok, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML

by shelteredchild / 03/19/2009 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

by paymeinhugs / 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

by missy / 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

by imalilangel05 / 02/10/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

by Lio / 11/12/2008 at 12:25am / Work