About iiazndorkii : Hi. Um. I'm a girl. If you hadn't noticed. I'm a sarcasm-holic, and it's an addict I'm extremely proud of. Fact of the matter is, if you can't handle sarcasm, get out of my way. If that sounded harsh, please go away. If it seemed slightly funny, we could have a nice conversation.
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iiazndorkii's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML
by justmyluck25 / 07/23/2010 at 8:59am / United States (Texas) / Love
by V / 07/23/2010 at 3:39am / United States / Love
by awkwardsituation / 07/11/2010 at 4:05am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by DLS / 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 11:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML
by _philliesfan / 09/14/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML
by micahmatt / 08/26/2009 at 3:09am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML
by bdiddy / 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…