About iiazndorkii : Hi. Um. I'm a girl. If you hadn't noticed. I'm a sarcasm-holic, and it's an addict I'm extremely proud of. Fact of the matter is, if you can't handle sarcasm, get out of my way. If that sounded harsh, please go away. If it seemed slightly funny, we could have a nice conversation.
iiazndorkii's FML badges
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iiazndorkii's favorite FMLs
Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
by Amanda / 11/19/2010 at 12:14am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm / Australia (Tasmania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML
by embarrassed / 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm / Miscellaneous
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous
by nicolette5785452 / 11/16/2010 at 10:34am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML
by Chris / 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more… Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it… Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that…