About iiazndorkii : Hi. Um. I'm a girl. If you hadn't noticed. I'm a sarcasm-holic, and it's an addict I'm extremely proud of. Fact of the matter is, if you can't handle sarcasm, get out of my way. If that sounded harsh, please go away. If it seemed slightly funny, we could have a nice conversation.
iiazndorkii's FML badges
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iiazndorkii's favorite FMLs
by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by lifesux / 02/05/2011 at 4:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 4:01am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
by omnomnom / 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML
by theyreallydosmell / 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
by birdguts / 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
by Joey / 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by UltraHoe69 / 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…