This member hasn't filled in their description.
iheartkanye's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
iheartkanye's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML
by stupid / 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
by Sadasian / 08/14/2009 at 2:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
by soapgirl / 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm / Philippines (Pampanga) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
by oshitdonotwant / 08/08/2009 at 9:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
by Screwupify / 08/06/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
by whatismydadthinking / 08/06/2009 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML
by WiltedFlower / 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy