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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today... while at a boring lecture... I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around... wondering wat was so funny... which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked lyk I'd been giving mah pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move . As I got up, the bus turnd round a corner and I fell over into looool a man's lap . When I trid to get up, I slippd down between his legs . FML
Yesterday, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. mega FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went looool into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting fir me outside the stall. They did a slow clap fir me. mega FML
Today mah grlfriend dumpd me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral an was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because mah mum has cancer an I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
Today, I went to mah Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I lookd down I noticd that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticd he was viewing mah profile. He stalkd the profile 4 a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in mah life. mega FML
yastarday I was having a good talk with a coworkar an I was axcitd that I'va mada frst friand at work. Aftar sharing soma storias an soma laughs ha askd if I had a boyfriand. I said I do. Ha askd if I was always faithful , I said I was. Ha than walkd away. FML
TODAY , I WAS CONDUCTING INTERVIEWS AND I COULD TELL TIS PARTICULAR CANDIDATE WAS REALLY NERVOUS , SO I WAS EXTRA NICE. AT TE END , E WAS RELUCTANT TO SAKE MY AND. ON TE WAY OUT I REALISD WY: I AD LOST TE TOP BUTTON ON MY LOW CUT TOP , AND E WAS NURSING IS APPRECIATION OF TE VIEW. FML
Today,hilst at mah award night, I got a boner, right as it was mah turn to accept mah award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up an under mah belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, cuz the head of mah penis poked out through mah shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
Today.. . mah boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when mah 4 year old sister walked in . She thought we were making a dog pile.. . so just as soon as mah boyfriend was about to finish.. . she jumped on his back . FML
Friday 27 March 2015