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ihavfml's favorite FMLs
by dusk / 01/05/2012 at 3:09am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2011 at 8:57am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Miscellaneous
by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by FML / 12/10/2011 at 6:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
by Username / 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…