Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ihateFMLJkxD

Search for a member

ihateFMLJkxD

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1215
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ihateFMLJkxD : Om&m and Zelda all the way. :D

ihateFMLJkxD's page activity

Visits<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Chewbacon</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:04pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:17am<b>hogman500</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 1:59am<b>guitardude69</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 3:26pm<b>LokaS</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:00pm<b>tim_bongiorno</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 4:01am<b>si24erra</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 1:49am<b>lesli</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 7:51am<b>isorang</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 9:02am<b>SelenaMilkshake</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 6:08pm<b>aWeirdoNamedCori</b> - the 07/29/2012 at 1:26am<b>jasonstackhouse</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 4:27am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 7:09pm<b>sweetness17</b> - the 07/11/2011 at 1:41pm<b>Horde</b> - the 11/15/2010 at 7:22am<b>FuckMyEveryth1ng</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 4:26pm

ihateFMLJkxD's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ihateFMLJkxD's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55111) - you deserved it (7112)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47101) - you deserved it (6391)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML

#16871264
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (4777)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:14pm - money - by Mad - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

#16868516
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (9505)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38344) - you deserved it (22094)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

#16141236
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19141) - you deserved it (51825)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54248) - you deserved it (4713)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (4566)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (20540)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41631) - you deserved it (7346)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38682) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (9542)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic. I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour. The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minutes to drive home. FML

#5942414
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (2844)

On 10/22/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by roadrage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (3076)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: