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ihateFMLJkxD

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ihateFMLJkxD
  • Town/Country : Miami, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 825
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ihateFMLJkxD : Om&m and Zelda all the way. :D

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ihateFMLJkxD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (3420)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

#17889211
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (7006)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (7204)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (4727)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

#17877282
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12514) - you deserved it (42886)

On 10/01/2011 at 8:33am - misc - by lollipopgreen - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (5802)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

#17867072
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (3120)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by hellokitty133 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (3575)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (10497)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (1559)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13098) - you deserved it (38102)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)



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