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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ihTzJasMine

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ihTzJasMine
  • Town/Country : Providence, U.S.A
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2519
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ihTzJasMine : OhKay ! So The Names Jasmine Fajardo Say Iht Riqqht Niqqah .. Im Thirteens Born On The 3rd Of September : So BUY Meh A Present.! Unless Yhur Broke Ass Can't Afford Shyt Nosah : iM Currently Sinqle : So Get At Meh Dauqqz.! iAm Proudly To Beh Dominican .! iLove The Colors Purple,Green And Black.!iMa Feen For Food Ndd Addicted To Bitinqq My Nailsz ( Tryinqq To Let The Grow ] ; iGo To Wack Asz Poor Roqerz.The Main Friends Are Fabiana,Jiany,JaJa And Christian.!iLove Yhu Guysz : Boiiz Are Dickz Theses Daiiz Nd Girlz Yhu Cant Trust.! iRealli Realli Hate Liars Ndd Fakes. Well,iAint Got Nothinqq Eles To Say ; Wannah No More Hit Me Uhp On Aiim ( Ask FhOr ihT ] Dont Beh Sucha Stranqqer !

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ihTzJasMine's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you deserved it (37411)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (55768) - you deserved it (7297)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926 (680)

I agree, your life sucks (6221) - you deserved it (87030)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went into work and noticed on of my fellow colleagues had received a large bunch of flowers and where sitting on her desk. As soon as I saw her I immediately said "Happy Birthday!". Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday, her father had died. FML

#2594715 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (15130) - you deserved it (37424)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (76618) - you deserved it (3837)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

#2592109 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (5947) - you deserved it (49240)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by NoNaMe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

#2531202 (627)

I agree, your life sucks (96450) - you deserved it (3617)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (5697)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (17603)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (5364)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (75188) - you deserved it (3288)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (268309) - you deserved it (32437)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (13195) - you deserved it (52928)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (15686) - you deserved it (33442)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (61527)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)