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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ifeelbad4u

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ifeelbad4u
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ifeelbad4u's favorite FMLs

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (56311)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (51598)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363080) - you deserved it (401427)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (57181) - you deserved it (4976)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (49068)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (51378) - you deserved it (8277)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (52437) - you deserved it (11672)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

#142749 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (72964)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (67606) - you deserved it (15917)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss, i didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

#118057 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (49287) - you deserved it (5291)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:31pm - love - by Kfeaaa (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (102447) - you deserved it (7348)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (6731) - you deserved it (46946)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936 (35)

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (1733)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

#26811 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (47175) - you deserved it (1440)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by EKG (man) - United States (West Virginia)