i dnt care wat people think about me if u dnt like wat i have to say kiss my arse if u do... then good on ya.
im a tru aussie and i love it. i use this sight when im in a bad mood for a laugh and if i feel the need i will leave a comment usually in reply to some dumb arse fag who has left a comment on someones story.
im not usually nice on this sight but if u can read i already said i only use it when im in a bad mood. that can happen a fair bit im not saying i have had the hardest life on earth like some fuk wits but it has been hard i am awear other people have had it hard to. thats all i can b fuked saying. so enjoy. and if i get motivated and dicide to put in one of my things enjoy hope u get a laugh out of it like i have with urs
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you totally deserved it (28643)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you totally deserved it (3960)
On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you totally deserved it (2250)
On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13345) - you totally deserved it (47931)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you totally deserved it (1336)
On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3113) - you totally deserved it (12187)
On 09/15/2009 at 4:13am - intimacy - by mybad7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11576) - you totally deserved it (935)
On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7795) - you totally deserved it (21370)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4182) - you totally deserved it (12052)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38712) - you totally deserved it (2655)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you totally deserved it (70672)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14140) - you totally deserved it (72595)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I came home to find a random car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spit on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6652) - you totally deserved it (46008)
On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you totally deserved it (213775)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5392) - you totally deserved it (81062)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)
