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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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iceman

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iceman
  • Town/Country : Horton, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 October 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 11627
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iceman's favorite FMLs

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (15678) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

#5528599 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (19561) - you deserved it (4135)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (1567)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (51601) - you deserved it (7014)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

#1312643 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (52277) - you deserved it (11923)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML

#1097922 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (86635)

On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML

#973990 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (47277) - you deserved it (3832)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by wishbone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (43022)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (49160)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (114321)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167969) - you deserved it (51061)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (73086) - you deserved it (26220)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn'tcome back. FML

#662645 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (60473)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (64165) - you deserved it (21322)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (68348)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)